Archive for October, 2009

Who is Beloved Divine?

October 30, 2009

Mountain Divine

So who is this Beloved Divine Presence?

People call it many things and experience the presence in many ways.  Artists call it Muse, their doorway into creativity.  The shamans have helping spirits and see the life spirit in all things.  Nature.
There is God.  The One.  The Great Mystery.
Inspiration — to inspire, inspirited.
The flow of Divine Inspiration.
I just opened my mouth and out it came.
The book wrote itself…..
The songs that sang themselves into being.
The paint that flowed from palette to brush to canvas…

And from where does this presence come?

The experience is oh, so personal, and Universal at once.
Is God/Goddess/All that is, outside of us?   Well, yes.  We see it all around.  The magic, the mystery and power of Nature….Its magnificent beauty, leaving humans in awe to expand our consciousness as we feel ourselves mirrored in the creations of the Earth.
And inside of us?  Yes.  Within us the power flows.  We bring forth this force of beauty in all of our creations.  It is mirrored on the outside.  From emotion and thought to physical reality.  We are a microcosm of the Universe.  Each being contains the ingredients for the recipe of creation.

So what do we do with it?
How do we access this Godforce?

One question to ask yourself is,  “What do I love?”  “What do I allow to flow through me?”  Unimpeded.  No obstacle.  “What expression is natural for me?”

Writing, singing, dancing, public speaking, teaching, sculpting, gardening, cooking, computer languaging, filmmaking, storytelling, loving, playing, showing compassion for self and others…..

There are infinite expressions of the Divine through us.

I love to be in Nature.  The elements speak to me.  They write songs through me.  The trees tell stories through me.  The mountains give their strength to me.  I breathe it in and breathe it out.  It is a part of me.  I have allowed myself to experience being one with the power of the creative Universe.
I feel the love of creation deep into my bones.  I snuggle into it like a blanket and pillow.  I feel the cradling power of Divine Love.  I give my limited perception of self over to the magnificence of Divine Love and I feel the expansion into unlimited beingness that is available to all of us.

With a flip of a thought or intention, turn on the light.
Beloved Divine is my go to being.
The Divine Presence guides me.  And shares it’s love through me.

What beauty shall I create today?
Where is the conversation with Divine leading me today?


Loving from the Inside, Out.

October 30, 2009

above the clouds

This morning I found it.  That long standing vibration that had been eluding me for years.  Lodged deep within my pelvis and hips and spine.  It spoke to me.  It said, “unworthy.”  I realized I did not love myself.
The vibration beneath all of the pain I’d been experiencing lately in my body felt like loathing.  Self loathing.  And I realized the opposite of Love was not Hate.  It was self loathing.   It was an inside job.

I needed to love this pain.  I needed to love me.  This one was slippery because it made no real sense to me that I did not love myself.  I’m funny, talented, sensitive, caring.  I have passion for life.  Who wouldn’t love that?

It dawned on me that as all feelings begin as vibrations, this one had been received by proximity.  Some of the  encounters and people in my early life carried the vibrations of loathing and shame.  I was taught to live this story.  I played like a tuning fork.  By holding back and pushing away feelings, I nurtured this low vibration, and it became my story.  And the farther down I pushed it.

All this talk about Divine Love has been stirring my internal soup.  For months as deep as I could go was anger, with an occasional dip into despair and grief.  The loathing hinted around itself while I mostly snarled at the pain in my body.
And this morning something changed.  A way fell open for me to see.  To feel.  The vibration spoke its name.  And I could see my way through to let it rise.  From the depths of loathing I could find my way up the ladder.  The hand reaching from above was my own.

I started reciting all the things I love about my body, its fortitude and flexibility….  I understood that nurturing and caring for myself would raise this vibe up out of the basement.  I began to feel a lift.  I could love me.
That love was inside of me.  I could love myself.  All that Love I was showering on everyone else…I could shower that on me too.

I do love myself — and, I have been carrying a contradictory vibration deep within — that has kept me from knowing that love was already inside myself.
It kept me searching outward for praise and affection.  I had found some, but nothing that compared to that feeling of Divine pleasure that comes from a deep knowing of the vibration of Love.  I could partner with this Divine flow, and love myself from the inside, out.

If you can feel it, you can flow it!

October 20, 2009

Baker's Glow

I have made a commitment to feel everything.  Most people don’t think about it, or bring it into a conscious awareness in daily life.  It’s easier when it feels good.  It’s confusing when we think about it, instead of feeling it.

“I shouldn’t feel that way…I’m a better person than that!”

We deliberately push aside feelings we do not want to feel.
We judge feelings. We make ourselves right or wrong, make others right or wrong, because of feelings.
All the while we ignore the message those feelings are trying to bring us.

“I hurt”, or “I feel furious!” has valuable information with it. “I feel fabulous!” has valuable information with it.

The kind of lives a lot of us lead are at a quick neck pace, full of activity and engagement.  Our minds are running top speed.  And when we stop or slow down, it is because something else stops us!  We are forced to quit running by outside circumstances, by a health challenge or family situation.  Most of the time we don’t even notice that we are not feeling, until we are clobbered by something else that says STOP!

Stop and breathe.  Stop and feel.  Check.  Are you in your body?  A lot of us are not living “embodied” lives.  We are talking heads that do not feel.  Or when someone asks us what we are feeling we say, ” I think….”
Sometimes people have access to only a couple of feelings.  You know the guy at work who is perpetually angry or the person who tells the same story of loss or apathy whenever you cross paths at the coffee shop.  We  have devised strategies without conscious awareness to be numb and keep ourselves safe from pain…but is that truly the result we achieve?

Slow down a moment.  Take a deep breath.  Scan your body with your awareness.  What are you feeling right now?

Feelings often show up as sensations in the body — especially tension that we have not felt when it was a circulating , moving emotion.  Feelings ignored do not really go away…they convert to stressors when they are contained.  Remember the nature of energy is movement.

So what would happen if you let yourself be present to every emotion you had?  And let yourself feel it in the moment?

Self awareness happens.  Elevation and expansion of consciousness happens.  Joy happens!  You know how people say, “I feel so much lighter now that I got that off my chest!”
Feelings really do flow, if you let them.  And the relief available is amazing.

So I’ve made this commitment to myself.  That I will flow everything that comes my way.  For the sake of being in the present.  Living in this moment, the point of choice and power.  I feel lighter and brighter.

The more I feel, the more I’m able to feel.  My capacity to experience more bliss and joy and “high vibrational” feelings is expanding.  And I have more experience with the lower vibrational, dense, and unpleasant feeling ones.  So I do not fear them, or try to shove them down because I know they are trying to show me where I need flow in my life.  And on the other side of these “less desirable” feelings like fear and anger and sadness… is bliss.  They really do move if you give them honor.

Don’t judge yourself.  Life is feelings.  All of them.

And when we flow them we are in the flow of life.  How powerful is that?  Access to all the creative power of the Universe.  Within us.

Shift Happens

October 19, 2009

Carbon River Giant

The shift was happening even before I happened upon Divine Openings.  My life was doing flip flops.  I was alternating between hopeful and depressed.  The Power of Nature in my backyard kept me feeling full and peppy one day, and the next feeling isolated by the snowstorms and flooding, mudslides and trees falling… the high tensions from the Winter had me scrambling to find relief.  I could feel my shamanic spiritual practice shifting around me, and I could not see it….  I was having one of those “what should I be doing with my life?” seasons.

I had recently changed my world in a big way on the outside, and my insides were begging to catch up, to sync up.  I had wandered into the void.  I wanted change.  But my dreams had no faces, locations or names.  I had longing.  I kept saying to my friends, “I feel homeless, I’m going somewhere, but I don’t know where.”  The only thing I knew was that I did have a net, I could feel the Mystery holding me, nudging me to unfold a little more, let go a little more — open to a new life — to dream and realize what has always been available ….just step through the door.

I said yes to a life of new adventure.  I packed up my life and moved to the mountains.

It was March and it was still snowing.  It was the proverbial dark and stormy night.  I was alone with my fears, and my long ago stuffed away feelings of unworthiness, anger and sorrow.
But I had dialup!
So I surfed.  Into a new dimension.  Keywords: Divine, Medium, Grace, Readings.  (I was searching for a new public venue to offer my services as a medium and a healer.)

I fell into a website that promised me I had already arrived.  I could stop searching and start living.  All in partnership with my own Divine Presence.  I could feel a vibration coming from the artwork on the site, it said to me,  “Welcome Home.”  “Read this book as you unfold into your own enlightenment,”  the pretty blond lady smiled. My heart knew she was right.  She had a message for me.  And as it turns out, so much more.
I have opened myself to a wild and brilliant dream.  I have been re-united with the deep wisdom of a Presence so magnificent, and energy so loving and immense…truly this is what Universes are made of.

Divine Openings is a blessing of Grace.  It has helped me to heal my physical body of old stresses I thought I would carry the rest of my life.  It has helped me let go of limitations I have placed on myself and more that I did not know I carried.  Beliefs and patterns that reside as vibrational stories within our energy fields…dissolving, disappearing.  Stories of myself that made me feel small and impotent, legacies of pain and dysfunction, fell from the trees of my life story and blew away on the winds of Grace.

And all I had to do was step out of the way and let Divine Love flow.  Divine Love flows with or without me.  My real job is to open to the flow.  Release my resistance, be one with the flow of Life.  The shift continues to happen, and more.  I am receiving the greatest gift.  Resonance with the One.

While I’m here…

October 15, 2009

Forgotten Leaves

I always wanted to do something important with my life.  Feel it deep down important.  The kind where you’d really know it if you’d done it.
I remember when I was in College, we had a seminar class where we sat together and talked about our life experiences, what it was like to be a woman in the North American culture (this was mid 1990’s).  We journaled a lot, talked a lot, played a lot.  I got to know these 20 women pretty well.  One day, one of the gals was sharing and she said, “Jeanie, you really inspire me.  Your songs, your writing, your views on life.  You are strong.  You inspire me to be myself.  Thank you.”

Her view of me caught me off guard.  And it woke me up to something pretty basic.  All I had done was be myself.  I shared from the heart, from the truth of who I really was.  What a gift she had given me with her appreciation.  I thought, “Well, heck! I’ll just keep that up!  If I can be an inspiration to someone else, just by being me…how great is that?”

Now I’m not really talking about being an “important person.”  We all are.  Already that.  We come to this place to unfold a life, make friends, love, create, dream, and love some more.  Everybody wants that….don’t they?  To love and be loved, I mean.  That’s important.

I guess deep down I always knew that “important” meant fulfilling, heart opening experiences that made you know you were touching God.  When you could really know in your gut that you weren’t alone in life, that just being present for someone, holding out your hand or holding the door open as they gathered their muster to step through….that was worth something.

If my “just being me” could shine a light for another being to see into themselves, to know the love of finding their calling in life, or just to bring joy….that seems important.

A friend told me once that I was a natural mirror.  I had the ability to show people who they are inside.  I could see into people and reflect to them their true selves.  I thought, “Whoa, that seems like an awesome responsibility!”  But then I realized I kinda liked that idea.  It felt worthwhile.

I decided to turn that on myself.  Could I see my true self?  Do I know deep down who is in this body, this psyche, better yet…this heart?  Do I know that I came here to unfold a life?  To love, create, dream, to feel?

I feel called to assist people in seeing their own Divinity.  To appreciate Life.  To open to the biggest Love they can feel.  To help people remember the shining light of who they are.
Waking up every day grateful to be alive…to share another laugh, hug, dream with a friend.
To reach inside and feel the force of creation waiting to be breathed through us as a song, a story, a painting, a child, a family, a life lived with passion….

A life lived with passion.   Hmmn.  That sounds worthwhile.  Passionate, creative, True Self.  Worthwhile, worth my while, while I’m here.

Dreaming In a New Paradigm

October 13, 2009

From Mountain to SeaMy friends and colleagues have been asking me, “Why are you not doing your shaman stuff anymore?”  “What about all that shamanic healing training you’ve had?”

A short version answer to these questions and the one with the most substance is this:

Love is what heals us.  Not techniques.

Even with a shamanic healing, it matters less which healing spirits came forward, which techniques they employed or what color the “light” was… what seems to matter the most is how much could the client let in?  Could they drop the trauma story vibration and let the Love of Spirit enfold them?  Could they maintain this “new” vibration in their daily lives?
In a room full of healers, when queried, most practitioners see, feel, hear, experience a different version of what occurred during the healing.  And the constant in these accounts is that Love was present.  The Great Mystery itself performed the healing:  Choose your form…Angels, Power Animals, the Christ, Isis, Ascended Masters, the Elementals.  The possibilities are endless….we all have our best loved Allies.  And they all contain the Power of Source beneath their beautiful shapeshifting cloaks.

I have chosen to “drop the form” of shamanic healing and experience directly Grace without form.  Being one with the Divine — being the Divine.  My heart is overflowing with what I call “Beloved Divine.”  It is my mainline to Source, a doorway to the Great Mystery.  It is the act of grounding Heaven upon the Earth.
Living as your Divine Self.   Sandra Ingerman calls it “transfiguration.”  Lola Jones calls it “jumping the matrix.”
It is Power.   Access to and ownership of your own power is paramount in leading an effective, productive, creative, positive existence.
My life as a healer has taught me the value of honor, integrity and an essential relationship with self and with the Divine Presence.

In my current practice as a healer and spiritual helper, I am relying on 3 things.

  • I channel through my physical body the Light of Divine Presence.  It comes through my hands, my voice and my heart.  This light is Pure Divine Essence.  It can raise your vibration in a heart beat.  It can heal physical dis-ease.  It can open you up to amazing creativity and possibility — all you need to do is step out of the way, hand it over, surrender it to Spirit, let go…whatever is your favorite phrase.  Let Life unfold before you, Divine timing is beautiful.

  • I am an advocate of “dropping one’s personal story”, (trauma story in particular) and re-writing our own scripts to support and reflect the power we each hold to create a dream-filled reality.  Choose the vibration you wish to emanate.  Do your friends think of you as a Negative Nora?  Or do they want to hang out with you because you inspire them and it just plain “feels good” to be in your presence?  Vibration is carried in all things, words, thoughts, deeds…and our emotional body (presence), whether we are aware of it or not.  Changing your story, soothes the mind.  It stops the chatter that keeps us spinning sticky
    webs and snares in the path.  When your mind stops dictating a low vibration (worry, fear, anxiety, pessimism) your ability to transcend obstacles flowers.  And consequently the law of attraction then brings you more higher vibrational experiences, (Love, Joy, Peace, Laughter).

  • Emotions are best enjoyed when flowing!  By the Nature of Physics, kinetic energy — motion, is what “powers” us.  Feelings and emotions are the moving force behind creation.  Ever tried to get something done while you were tired (low energy)?  Not easy, Often not pretty!  When you were feeling down?  That low power state creates low powered results.  How about when you felt inspired?  Or happy?  When you were really “flowing?”  When we act from a place of high vibration or feeling “full of energy” the results we create are not only productive and often brilliant, we also inspire others to be in a harmonious and flowing state.
    The challenge we encounter with emotions in life is that some feelings we don’t like.  Quite frankly, they don’t “feel good.”  So we avoid them or suppress them.  This is where problems begin.  We’ve all heard about how holding in our anger, sadness or fear creates disease.  The good news is, we can choose to flow these emotions too.  And if you are flowing, they are not slowing down your vibration and creating a state of “low energy.”   Letting yourself feel is a powerful state of being.  It keeps your energy flowing.  If you are angry, thankfully there are more than two options.  (Stuffing it, or taking out on someone near!)  Another option is to feel your feeling without blame or judgement, express your feeling to the Divine Presence within you that holds a larger perspective.  The experience of feeling without a story will naturally raise the vibration of what you are feeling to a higher more compassionate expression.

In fact, the more we let go and let the Divine Presence help us flow and create, we open our hearts to Divine possibility, vibrate more light into the world and truly understand the principle of “like attracts like.”

When we live as our Divine Selves we open to more Grace that flows in abundance to all of the Beings on this planet and beyond.

I have a friend who loves to say, “It’s not what we do that changes the world, it is who we are.”

Gather your Power, Create in Beauty, and Let Yourself Shine!

Baker's Breath

Welcome to Beloved Divine

October 7, 2009

Thanks for joining me on this journey of discovery and celebration.  Loving one’s self deeply as the Divine Presence loves is a great gift that keeps us flowing with the mystery of Life.  Shining brightly as the True Self is also a gift we give to everyone we encounter, as we reflect to others their own Divinity.   Share your light, dream your love, be who you really are.  This is poetry in motion.

Cougar Divide

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